Did you recently hear the phrase ‘loyal to a fault’ and you want to know what it means? Maybe you not only want to the ‘loyal to a fault meaning’ but also want to know how it applies to you, or you want to be sure that you are not loyal to a fault in any relationship you find yourself.
If you are looking for ‘loyal to a fault meaning’, look no further. This post will teach you all you need to know about being loyal to a fault and how to be double sure you are not being so.
Loyal to a Fault Meaning & Examples
Loyal to a fault means being loyal to someone to an extent that can hurt you. It may be referred to as toxic loyalty. Loyalty is a good thing to have, but loyalty to a fault means you are so loyal it has become a bad thing due to the negative outcome it can have on you.
The Urban Dictionary defines ‘loyal to a fault’ as “a behavior or behaviors that show that one is taking loyalty to the extreme, to a magnitude that causes one more harm than good”. This means that one’s loyalty has gone beyond safe limits and now has the tendency to harm one if nothing is done to stop it.
For example, Jane is in a relationship with Michael where she is verbally and physically abused constantly by him. But she believes that through her loyalty and love, she can change the abusive partner, and is also scared of leaving her long-term boyfriend. In the end, Jane may stand a risk of losing her life or getting seriously hurt someday.
There are many scenarios where being loyal to a fault can play out. Every relationship demands a level of loyalty from the partners involved, be it romantic relationships, casual relationships, or professional relationships. In all these situations, one can be loyal to a fault, sometimes even without knowing it.
Signs You Are Loyal to a Fault in a Relationship
Signs of being loyal to a fault or that you are exhibiting toxic loyalty are usually related to abuse of loyalty or unreciprocated gestures. When you are loyal to someone in any kind of relationship, you expect them to respect your loyalty and show some loyalty in return. But when you are loyal to a fault, the other person acts in ways that can hurt you despite being loyal to them.
Here are some signs of being loyal to a fault.
1. They don’t support you too
Supportiveness is a sign of loyalty. However, when you support your partner but they don’t support you too when it’s your turn, it might be a clear sign that your loyalty is at the toxic extreme.
Your partner should support you as much as you support him/her. That way, they prove to you that the loyalty is mutual and not to a fault.
2. You can’t trust your partner too
Trust is another sign of loyalty that can easily be to a fault. When you act in a very trustworthy manner to your partner but you can’t say the same for them, that is a sign that you are loyal to a fault in that relationship.
This is something you should discuss with your partner. He/she needs to be transparent and trustworthy as much as you are.
3. You are honest to a fault
Just like the previous point on trustworthiness, if you realize that your partner is always cooking up lies to cover their tracks, or that their words don’t always sound honest, they might be playing on your loyalty. Such partners usually believe that you are going to stay no matter what they do, thus making you loyal to a fault in that relationship.
4. Your partner dashes your hopes in him/her
Being loyal to your partner also involves having hopes in them in all they do, but this can be described as being loyal to a fault if your partner deliberately dashes your hopes to the ground through his/her actions or inactions.
For example, after making your partner see how much hope you have in them to succeed, they choose to fold their hands and do nothing, without any desire to succeed to make you happy.
5. Your partner doesn’t invest in you too
To be loyal to a fault means to be abused for your loyalty. One way that can happen is if your partner does not invest in you or the relationship as much as you do. Be it a romantic relationship or not, the efforts need to come from both sides of the relationship for it not to be seen as being loyal to a fault.
6. They are stingy when you are very generous
If your partner thinks he/she does not need to do anything for you even when they expect you to continue your generosity, it means they are undermining your loyalty with the belief that you cannot stop being generous no matter how they act towards you.
Once you perceive that your partner does not care whether you have been “too” generous or not, you might have toxic loyalty in that relationship.
7. Your partner denies you when you need them
Do you persistently stand by your partner through all circumstances? That is a sign that you are truly loyal to them. However, do they act the same way towards you?
If your partner takes every given opportunity to deny you even when they know fully well that you are always defending them, that is a sign that they don’t value you as someone worth fighting for. It means you are loyal to a fault in that relationship.
8. They are unashamedly unfaithful
If you are in a relationship, one clear sign that you are loyal to a fault is that your partner doesn’t fear cheating when he/she knows that you are aware. Even though cheating is already a sign of a break of trust and loyalty, doing so to your knowledge is a sign that you have become loyal to a fault in that relationship.
9. They don’t share your vision with you
If you have long-term visions for a relationship and would want to continue with the person for a long time but he/she acts in ways that suggest he/she doesn’t care about any future with you, that is a sign that your loyalty is not appreciated or needed. Doing so might hurt you sooner or later.
Consequences of Being Loyal to a Fault
The central idea about being loyal to a fault is that it has several negative consequences. Loyalty, in its pure sense, is a beautiful virtue to possess as it can open many doors for you. However, loyalty to a fault can come with the following problems:
- It can cost you your happiness.
- It can destroy your self-esteem.
- It can affect your mental health.
- You feel like a slave trying to please a master.
- Being loyal to a fault can drain your physical and mental energy.
- You might lose your money or properties, and so on.
What to do When You Are Loyal to a Fault
Take these as self-care tips to bring you out of a toxic relationship. Having established that the primary problem in being loyal to a fault is your partner not showing their loyalty in the relationship but still expecting you to stick with them irrespective of how uncomfortable they make you feel, it is important to know what to do immediately after you realize it.
Here are some things you can do when you discover that you have been loyal to a fault in a relationship.
1. Find out why you have become loyal to a fault
Sometimes, becoming loyal to a fault is a sign that your self-worth has been trampled on in some way. Do you feel worthless or feel that the partner is doing you a favor by being with you? It could be related to something you did to them previously and now think you can’t forgive yourself for.
No matter what you have done or didn’t do, you don’t deserve to live with guilt or shame in any relationship. You deserve to be with someone who values you for who you are and treats you with good conscience and compassion.
2. Practice self-care
Self-care summarizes all you need to do to break out of toxic loyalty. Self-care means learning to take care of yourself and knowing your limits to anything you do. Whether it is taking some rest after a long day of work, eating when you are hungry, or knowing when to re-analyze your loyalty, self-care is one important thing to remember when you find out that you are being loyal to a fault in a relationship.
3. Discuss with your partner
If you think you have done all you can by yourself to restore mutual loyalty between you and your friend/partner, this might be the right time to sit him/her down for a discussion. Make him/her know how you think loyalty has been one-sided in the relationship. Maybe he/she will open up to you what the problems are.
You should also discuss your concerns and how their actions or inactions are affecting you. As expected, also give them enough room to air their views and opinions too.
4. Consult a relationship therapist
Whenever you have relationship issues that require third-party input, a relationship therapist should be your go-to place. With years of professional experience in relationship matters, a good relationship therapist can unravel the underlying issues within your relationship, and help address them in the most unbiased and non-prejudiced way possible.
Just like for other relationship issues, the services of a relationship therapist will also be invaluable in a case when you find out that you are loyal to a fault and have discussed it with your partner without any solution to the problems on the ground.
Conclusion
That’s probably all you need to know about being loyal to a fault or toxic loyalty, the signs of being loyal to a fault, and what you can do to stop being so. In summary, being loyal to a fault means being loyal in toxic levels without it being reciprocated by your friend, colleague, or relationship partner.
