10 Traits Women Find Irresistible in a Man’s Personality

I wrote an article about what men find attractive in a woman, and the buzz was all about breasts, butts, and other things in-between and beyond. So, I decided to also write about what women find attractive in a man.

What are the things a woman finds irresistibly fascinating when she sees a man for the first time?

When talking about what women find attractive in a man, money somehow finds its way into the conversation. Many people believe that women are only interested in money when they see a guy who likes them, but there are traits that women find irresistible in a man’s personality.

To some extent, having money might be a predictor of some great attributes every woman wants in a man. For example, a wealthy man is more likely to have higher self-esteem and self-confidence than one who is struggling for survival.

Also, financial success may be linked to a display of certain desirable traits, such that a woman might retrospectively say a man is successful because he has these desired traits. However, while self-esteem and self-confidence are attractive traits to a woman and may be linked to financial abundance, a man doesn’t have to be the richest man in the world before developing these.

This post will show you some traits that women consider irresistibly attractive, and why that is so.

10 Things Women Find Attractive in a Man

This section will explore both qualities and attributes that women find fascinating in a man. Understanding this will help you understand the psychology behind why women get attracted to the men they like. It will also help you understand how one man can capture the attention of several women in the real world.

1. Physical looks

Just like it is for men, women are also drawn to looks. While men are drawn by a more feminine look in a woman, women look out for the converse – masculine features – when they see a man. Your body musculature, posture, height, and body weight, amongst others, are some physical attributes that can attract a woman to you.

Women might be more keen on trying to analyze a man’s behavior, personality, and other desired traits from his looks, studies say. These studies also show that women are generally more accurate at decoding non-verbal communication, body language, and behavior simply through their power of physical observation.^[1]Hall, J. A., et al. (2010). Gender differences in decoding nonverbal cues: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin.

Another research showed that women may associate physical traits like a strong jawline, broad shoulders, and symmetrical features with dominance and genetic fitness, and subconsciously interpret these as indicators of a man’s ability to provide protection and resources.^[2]Buss, D. M., & Schmitt, D. P. (1993). Sexual strategies theory: An evolutionary perspective on human mating. Psychological Review, 100(2), 204–232.

This means that a woman might be attracted to a man who has the looks that convey the attributes she wants in a man. Some of these attributes like confidence, responsibility, trustworthiness, etcetera, may be universally desired by women, while others may be specifically desired by each woman.

So, it’s no longer strange why women naturally love men with a muscular build and masculine energy. Other physical signs of masculinity that women get attracted to include having beards, tall height, etc.

2. Voice texture

Several studies have been conducted to demonstrate the relationship between a man’s vocal tone and how attractive a woman perceives it. One such study conducted among women in Indonesia showed that adult heterosexual women perceive mid-range vocal tones (average 119 Hz) as the most attractive range for men.^[3]Solita T. (2022). View of the Influence of Male Voice Tone on Women’s Perception of Attractiveness This is also in keeping with another study that showed that women are more attracted to low-pitched masculine voices close to the above frequency.^[4]Alexandre Suire, Michel Raymond, Melissa Barkat-Defradas, 2019. Male Vocal Quality and Its Relation to Females’ Preferences

Women may interpret a deep voice as a sign of emotional, physical, and reproductive maturity which are all evolutionary requirements for sustaining the relationship and raising viable children to the next generation. A man’s voice may also suggest other important attributes like confidence, authority, and intelligence, which you will see below.

3. Confidence

Confidence is a strong predictor of attractiveness in a man. Women are attracted to a confident man because confidence is an indirect way of assessing a man’s value. One would believe, and rightly so, that a confident man is so because he knows what he is truly worth, either financially or otherwise.

A study contrasted confidence against overconfidence and arrogance, stating that these are not exactly the same things. Confidence refers to the expression of competence, capability, and adequacy, in contrast to fear, self-doubt, and timidity. On the opposite side of the spectrum, over-confidence may be perceived as arrogance because such a person demonstrates a more positive view of themselves than is objectively warranted.^[5]Sean Murphy (2015). The Attractiveness of Confidence. Society for Personality and Social Psychology.

While confidence generally enhances attractiveness, overconfidence may negatively affect a man’s attractiveness. However, the above study also confirms that over-confidence may be beneficial in competitive situations where several men want to get the same woman. An over-confident man can deter other men from trying to compete with them and make the woman even more attracted.^[6]Sean M. (2015). Ibid.

While men and women rate confidence as a very attractive trait in a potential partner, women have a higher preference for men who have a higher self-confidence than themselves.^[7]Buunk, B. P., Dijkstra, P., Fetchenhauer, D., & Kenrick, D. T. (2002). Age and gender differences in mate selection criteria for various involvement levels. Personal Relationships, 9(3), … Continue reading

4. Intelligence

In addition to ‘self-confidence’ above, women were shown to prefer mates who were higher in income, education, intelligence, dominance, and social position than themselves.^[8]Buunk, et al., Ibid. This is in keeping with an evolutionary perspective of the man being the protector and provider for the family.

Emotional intelligence (EI) is also an important component of intelligence women look out for in a man. Thus, women may perceive an intelligent man as being capable of protecting her and the family, resolving internal and external conflicts, and having the capacity to demonstrate emotional empathy towards them, making him more attractive to them.

Intelligence can be indirectly measured by the way he responds to questions, how he uses words when describing concepts, and his academic prowess. A woman might take the first few moments to study a man’s intelligence and the presence of this trait can be very alluring to a potential mate.

5. Passion and ambition

Women are instinctively attracted to men who are committed to their goals, and vision and are passionate about what they do. Having goals and aspirations, and being committed to them is an irresistibly attractive trait in a man because it makes a woman feel safe and confident that the man knows what he wants and where he is heading in his life.

This aligns with women’s evolutionary desire to find a mate that can lead, protect, and provide for the family, bearing in mind that being passionate and ambitious comes with a higher likelihood of achieving success, money, and power, which are required for protection and provision for the women and the family.

6. Firmness in beliefs

Being decisive or firm in one’s beliefs is another trait women find irresistibly attractive in a man. It conveys inner strength and clarity.

For the same evolutionary reasons, women instinctively love a man who expresses firmness in decision-making and when saying what needs to be done. This gives her the assurance that the man knows what he is doing, further strengthening the confidence she has in him.

Firmness in beliefs can be seen when a man gives clear instructions, makes decisions quickly and confidently communicates them, and knows when to say yes or no without fear or favor. This also builds a woman’s confidence in the man’s ability to stay focused on his dreams, resist sexual temptations, and be faithful in the relationship.

Summarily, this is why women prefer strong-willed men to soft nice men who are very kind but easily influenced.

7. Listening capacity and attentiveness

The capacity to listen and pay attention to a woman is a valuable trait in every romantic relationship, which is why women find it extremely attractive in a man. While many men are caught away by several distractions and activities, being able to listen attentively to a woman is a trait every woman finds irresistible.

Listening and attentiveness boost a woman’s self-worth and her feeling of being valued. It gives her the impression that you care about her and would be willing to understand and help her when she needs you. Listening capacity also helps in conflict resolution within the family, which also gives a woman the strong impression that you will be able to lead and control the family you build together eventually.

8. Honesty

Honesty is considered the bedrock of every successful relationship, and it is one of the commonest traits women find irresistibly attractive in a man. Women are generally attracted to men who display honesty and integrity due to their implications for trust, emotional security, and the foundation of a healthy relationship.

A not-so-long study established that both men and women value relationships for different reasons: whereas women value relationships as a source of belonging and intimacy, men value relationships as a marker of social standing. This means that for relationship success, women need someone honest and committed to intimacy.^[9]Kwang, Tracy & Crockett, Erin & Sanchez, Diana & Swann, William. (2013). Men Seek Social Standing, Women Seek Companionship. Psychological science.

Several women I have interacted with have talked about honesty being a very important trait they look out for in a man. Also, evolutionary psychology suggests that men are more likely than women ‘to deceive’ to bolster their status and influence.^[10]Palomäki J, Yan J, Modic D, Laakasuo M. “To Bluff like a Man or Fold like a Girl?” – Gender Biased Deceptive Behavior in Online Poker. PLoS One. 2016 Jul 6;11(7):e0157838. doi: … Continue reading Thus, finding a man who is honest and uninterested in swindling her is a trait many women may find irresistible.

9. Hopefulness about life

Women are inherently more attracted to men who display confidence and hopefulness about life. Optimism has been shown as a positive predictor of a successful life, and longevity.^[11]Koga HK, Trudel-Fitzgerald C, Lee LO, James P, Kroenke C, Garcia L, Shadyab AH, Salmoirago-Blotcher E, Manson JE, Grodstein F, Kubzansky LD. Optimism, lifestyle, and longevity in a racially diverse … Continue reading^[12]Scheier, M. F., Swanson, J. D., Barlow, M. A., Greenhouse, J. B., Wrosch, C., & Tindle, H. A. (2021). Optimism versus pessimism as predictors of physical health: A comprehensive reanalysis of … Continue reading And from the evolutionary perspective stated earlier in this post, women instinctively find a mate that gives them and their children happiness, satisfaction, and a better quality of life, of which optimism and hopefulness are important predictors.

Hopefulness and optimism have also been shown to be strong indicators of successful romantic relationships.^[13]Dicke, A. K. (1997). Optimism and its effect on romantic relationships (Doctoral dissertation). Texas Tech University, Lubbock, Texas. This explains why women find an optimistic man irresistibly attractive compared to a pessimist.

10. Fun, liveliness, and humor

Women are naturally drawn to men with a good sense of humor. Recent research suggests that women prefer men who make them laugh, while men prefer women who laugh at their jokes. Consistent with this, Robert Provine conducted a study among over 3000 single adults and confirmed this fact.

Being funny, lively, and spontaneous as a man sets the stage for free expression. Some women want to laugh and also be free and expressive.

Humor creates a less tense atmosphere that allows a woman to live her best life. Thus, developing the humor part of you can make you irresistibly attractive to women.

Other Traits Women Find Irresistible

Aside from the above qualities, here are additional things women find irresistibly attractive in a man.

1. Understanding: Paying attention to details and displaying empathy.
2. Supportiveness: Willingness to support her and help her grow.
3. Smiles
4. Storytelling
5. Protectiveness
6. Kindness and empathy.