If you are wondering how long it takes the average person to get over a breakup, here is what the statistics have to say. You might be thinking that there is a specific amount of time for everyone to move on after a breakup but people’s response to painful experiences like grief and breakup differs for each individual.
Other factors also play a role in how long it will eventually take an individual to get over a breakup.
This post will show you factual evidence as to how long it takes to get over a breakup, the factors affecting the duration of getting over a breakup, and ways to speed up the process of getting over a breakup.
Statistics on How Long It Takes to Get Over a Breakup
When searching for the timeline of breakups, several sites referred to a consumer poll conducted by Market Researchers OnePoll and commissioned by Yelp Eat24 in 2017. This study which was carried out among 2000 Americans had the following highlights:
- The average American adult has been through three major relationship break-ups and spent more than a year and a half of their life getting over them.
- Looking at the ways Americans deal with heartbreak, people give themselves an average of about four days to wallow in sadness immediately after a relationship ends. This is followed by a healing process that lasts just over 6 months for a serious relationship; meaning 18 months of post-break-up pain per lifetime for the average person.
- It takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal from a breakup, and it might take closer to 1.5 years (17 months and 26 days) to recover after divorce, if not longer.
- Americans have an average of around two tearful conversations and four instances of crying alone after a breakup.
- Women are twice more likely than men to have lonely sobbing sessions, and two girls/guys’ nights out with friends are normal in the process of getting over an ex.
- One in four people who just had a breakup admits that they get in touch with at least two previous partners following a split, while 65% claim they never contacted former exes after a major breakup.
Statistics on Healing From a Breakup
- Two-thirds of respondents agree that comfort food is an important part of getting over an ex.
- One in three even have a specific go-to comfort food when they are upset; ice cream is by far the number one choice having been picked by 43 percent of respondents. Followed by pizza (picked by 30% of respondents), fries (22%), and cake (18%).
- M&M’s, Mexican takeout, and Oreos are among America’s 20 most common break-up treats, while tacos, fried chicken, and Krispy Kreme donuts are also used to help mend broken hearts.
- When asked to rate the actual amount of happiness each comfort food brought them, respondents said that chocolate was top scoring 6.9 out of 10 on the happiness index, with ice cream right behind at 6.8 followed by pizza at 6.6.
- High levels of comfort food are most needed in the first five weeks following a break-up with key signs of recovery kicking in after then.
Statistics on Response to a Breakup
- After an average of one month and 12 days, the tears over a break-up will have stopped. And four more days after that is the average length it takes to muster up the courage to delete the ex’s number.
- Seven and a half weeks are needed to remove pictures of an ex, while it takes a full two months before being able to stop bringing up an ex in conversation.
- Half of Americans claim that they don’t require any time at all to stop checking their ex’s social media pages, but one in ten admit they continue to peek at them five months after the relationship has ended, or more.
- It takes an average of 3 months and 11 days before the average American feels ready to date again, although one in four individuals admit to having used dating or seeing someone else as a means of getting over their ex.
Statistics on Return of Positive Emotions Post-Break-Up
In another study published in 2007, 155 undergraduates who had experienced a dissolution of a relationship at least 11 weeks in the past 6 months, reported increased positive emotions — empowerment, confidence, and happiness — after a breakup. The following findings were obtained:
- After a breakup, most people recover their positive emotions fully after about 11 weeks or 3 months on average, but it could take 6 months to see this improvement, if not longer.
- Another 2007 study among 69 participants which aimed to compare the level of distress people thought they might experience after a breakup with the actual distress they experienced, showed that the distress experienced after a breakup steadily declined over several weeks, and just as predicted, they felt better by the 10-week mark.
While these findings do not provide a specific timeline for full recovery after a breakup, they suggest that you would feel better with time, roughly around 10 weeks after the incident.
American’s Top Methods of Getting Over a Breakup
- Spending time alone
- Watching films and TV
- Spending time with friends
- Spending time with family
- Treating yourself with food
- Taking a walk
- Get rid of ex-partner’s stuff
- Go on dates/pursue other people
- Avoid social media
- Browse on dating apps
How Long It Takes For Certain Post-Breakup Activities
These are also statistics obtained from Americans.
- Stop looking at an ex’s social media regularly – 5 weeks
- Stop crying about the break-up – 6 weeks
- Delete the ex’s number – 6.5 weeks
- Get rid of all their stuff from your place – 7 weeks
- Delete or remove pics of them – 7.5 weeks
- Stop talking about them/ bringing them up in conversation – 8 weeks
- Start dating someone else properly – 13.5 weeks
American’s Top 20 Breakup Foods
These are foods Americans commonly use to pacify themselves while they heal from a breakup.
- Ice cream
- Pizza
- Fried food
- Cake/cupcake
- Burgers
- Chocolate-chip cookies
- French fries
- M&M’s
- Mexican
- Cheesecake
- Chinese
- Tacos
- Oreo’s
- Fried chicken
- Steak
- Mac and cheese
- Krispy Kreme glazed donut
- Apple pie
- Spaghetti
- Wings
While all these point to a common pathway of natural healing after a breakup, we see how certain activities and food can help one feel better as one gradually gets over a breakup. But the fact remains that there is no specific time for getting over a breakup, and it is not healthy to fix your gaze on a particular time to get over the pain.
Though we have a statistical period of about 3 months to get over a breakup, several factors can contribute to how long it takes in reality.
Factors Affecting How Long It Eventually Takes
The nature of the relationship and the situations surrounding the breakup can affect how long it eventually takes to get over a breakup. Here, we see some of those factors.
1. The quality of the relationship
After a breakup, previously favorable qualities of the relationship suddenly start to haunt you. This includes the blissfulness and joy in the relationship before it ended. Remembering these aggravates the pain and makes it more difficult for you to move on after the breakup.
2. What caused the breakup
If the cause of the breakup is related to some form of incompatibility that both of you are not okay with — for example, some form of genetic incompatibility, the breakup could go smoothly and the healing time might be shorter compared to the case when the cause of the breakup involved a heated up argument and exchange of insults.
3. Your level of commitment to the relationship
The more committed you are in the relationship, the harder a breakup can hit you. This also means that it would take a longer time to get over the breakup.
4. Who ended the relationship
Irrespective of who initiated the breakup, both partners feel the pain after the breakup has occurred. However, the person who initiated the breakup might feel less pain compared to the other person. This is because the person who initiates the breakup is aware of what happens next while the turn of events hits the other person by surprise.
How to Speed Up the Healing After a Breakup
To get over a breakup within the shortest possible time, some tips can help you achieve that. Using these tips, I have a client who confessed that she was able to get over her last breakup in a considerably shorter time.
1. Grieve for the shortest possible time
A breakup is similar to a loss because you have lost someone valuable in your life even though he/she is still alive. The statistics of breakups highlighted in this post show that the majority of Americans take around four days to feel the hurt and cry over the breakup until they are ready to move on from it.
To speed up the time for healing, you should start letting go as quickly as possible.
2. Look at the bright side
Not all relationships are meant to be for a lifetime. And when one door closes, another opens. At the end of a relationship, think about the valuable lessons you have learned, and be positive that you will find someone better suited to be with you. Looking forward after a breakup can speed up the time it takes to get over the breakup.
3. Maintain your distance
To fully get over a breakup, you must keep your distance from your ex for the time being. The faster you forget the memories of your ex, the faster you will get over the breakup.
4. Give yourself a closure
One common reason why some people take too long going through a breakup is that they still want to find out from their ex why they broke up with them. They do this so they can find a reason to move on from the relationship, but unfortunately, this makes it even harder as you might not get any helpful response from the ex.
This is why you need to give yourself the closure. Tell yourself you deserve better, and that you will find the one who will cherish and be with you for the rest of your life.
5. Mingle with other people
If you want to feel better during a breakup, isolating yourself at all times might not be the best thing to do. Sometimes, you should go out and play with other people. This helps you heal faster from the breakup and get over your ex.
6. Focus on work and career
Work and career are another kind of helpful distraction that can take your mind away from the broken relationship and your ex. Focusing on work, creativity, and career can bring you joy and satisfaction which can fill the void caused by the breakup.
Final words
Nothing lasts forever, not even the pain of a breakup. While we cannot ascertain the exact time it would take to get over a breakup, one would get over the feeling in no time.
Popular statistics say around 3 months, but with the right mindset, you can get over a breakup within the shortest possible time.
