Love and hate; gettyImages
Funny title, right? But not only is it funny, it is also commonplace to begin to catch negative feelings towards anybody sometimes. Many people have often wondered and asked if it is a normal experience to start hating someone. Even sometimes, you actually hate someone at first sight, for no reason whatsoever.
Where as, these feelings are normal for any individual, they reflect some internal issues you may probably be having at the moment. Issues that need to be resolved so that you can be fully happy once again.
However, that’s not the only problem here. Too much negative feelings, or dwelling so long in the hate for someone can severe your relationship with them, or make you do stupid things that would push them away from you.
So, here comes the need to learn ways yo love someone you are developing hatred for, or loving someone you hate at first sight.
Hearing the phrase “hate at first sight” sounds kinda awkward, as though we are twisting off the hate version of love at first sight. But that is something practically real to most of us, including me. Yes, I have often encountered people and I would be like, I really hate this guy. But the good news is, that was a long time ago.
Everything changed when I discovered how to love everyone and since then, there is no more “hate at first sight” in my vocabulary.
But let’s see some reasons why you develop hatred for someone at first sight.
Why You Develop Hate At First Sight
One simple answer is they could be a reduvivus of something or someone you once disliked. When you hate something or someone and you see something or someone else that reminds you of them, it is was to transfer the hatred on to the new object or person.
Another reason could be that they are not living up to your expectations. This is grossly true because many times, people just inspect you and predict that you should be able to do certain things.
For example, you seem like a jovial person but you are presently reserved and restricted for so long. Another instance is, when people thinks you have all the money to spend but you seem to be living a very simple life. Some of those times, people just get irritated that you are not living up to what they expected from you. The reason why they feel this way, a topic for another day.
It could also be due to some negative emotions you were experiencing she you met them, maybe you’re tired, hungry or sad. But in any case, it is not fair to hate someone without a cause. It therefore becomes very important to look for ways to love someone you are developing hatred for.
Aside the unfairness against someone when you hate them for no good reason, this affects you negatively in some ways too. It can rob you of a good beneficial relationship with the person for whom you are developing hatred for. Many other ways, too countless to mention, but the bottomline is that you rob yourself a lot when you allow hate occupy the small crib where your heart dwells. There is not enough room for hate and progress to co-exist in your heart.
So, now that we have seen the negativities associated with developing hatred feelings for someone for any reasons, or none at all, how can you revert back to love this person you have started developing hate for?
How To Love Someone You Are Developing Hatred For
It can sometimes be so hard to love someone you are beginning to develop hate for, but these few ways should help you get started;
- Smile for them
- Look for something to like about them
- Pray for them or say good wishes for them
- Put yourself in their shoes
- Give them gifts
Smile For Them
Smiles have been noted to have magical effects on the brain, emotions and heart function. Lack of smiles have been linked with quicker ageing and other related stuff. However, smile is also one easy hack to establish or re-establish connections with anybody. By simply smiling, you signal the other person that you can be friends with them. But in addition to that, in this case where you are probably hating someone for some reasons whatsoever, smiling tricks your own emotions and feelings to begin seeing the person as friend, interesting and pleasant individual. Thus, masking your initial feelings of hate towards and whatever was stimulating it.
Look For Something To Like About Them
There is always something good about everyone. Most people are too busy focusing on the negativities in other people, so much that they forget the good aspects of these individuals. If you will really be able to restore your love or positive feelings for someone you are beginning to develop hatred for, you are going to give yourself some reasons to love them again. Just look for something about them you could find interesting and focus on it while to recover your lost feelings of love.
Pray For Them or Say Good Wishes For Them
The essence of these is to be able to see beyond why you hate them in the first place. By praying for someone, or verbally wishing them well, it subconsciously reassures yourself that they are important in your life. Two things that are mutually exclusive are, praying for someone and hating them at the same time. These two things do not go together. So, in order to destroy those feelings of hatred for them, try wishing them well or praying for them instead.
Put Yourself In Their Shoes
Sometimes, you should be empathic a little bit. Being empathic means you are going to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. When you imagine that someone is hating you without a cause, or for no good reason, that should make you reconsider about how unfair you have been to yourself, and of course, the person you have developed hatred for.
Give Them Gifts
Just like praying for them or wishing them well, giving gifts to someone re-establishes cordiality between you and them. It also reassures your mind that you are in good terms with them. The only difficult step here is that actual events of getting the gift and giving it to that person. What happens next is just a sequelae that will clear your mind off any negative feelings of hatred you have for them.
Conclusively, developing hatred for someone is a common experience by many people. Looking for ways to love someone for whom you are developing hatred for shows that you have recognised that you may not be doing what is right by hating them. But I hope the above tips helps you achieve that goal.
Please, drop some comments below.
