Have you ever heard about how powerful a woman can be when she knows how to trigger her man’s hero instincts? Many who understand this phenomenon have not only gotten their man’s attention but also made their relationship as peaceful and harmonious as ever.
Just like other primitive instincts, the hero instinct is something men have always been born with. It is inherent in every man to feel his woman’s hero, protector, and provider. However, this concept was recently popularized by James Bauer in his book, “His Secret Obsession“, where he used described it using “The Hero Instinct”.
The hero instinct is a powerful way to get a man’s attention and make him love you even more. But it often requires very subtle ways to activate it in your man. Not only does the hero instinct make your man love you more, but it makes you love him more when you see the way he begins to show you love and care.
James Bauer, in his presentation, gave an example of how he gave one of his clients as a relationship coach, Rachel, his 12-word secret to trigger Mike’s hero instinct to solidify her relationship with her newfound boyfriend who was suddenly going cold on her. James’ example of the hero instinct shows how powerful it can be when it is triggered correctly.
In this post, we will see what the hero instinct means and how to activate it in a man, whether he is fully yours or still in the talking stage.
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The Hero’s Instinct
Recently, I went to visit a lady friend of mine I liked so much. And as we were having a conversation, we got into a little argument. Initially, she was presenting her reasons as to why we should have things her way. I felt that she wanted to prove that she didn’t care what I thought or wanted.
After a few minutes, she said something in the most loving way ever. It was the same thing she had been saying but this time, there was a touch of care in it. Instantly, I couldn’t help but concede all my points and allowed her to win the argument.
Neither of us knew what exactly happened but it amazed her how a simple insignificant gesture or word could change a man so instantly.
The hero instinct is that desire to feel respected, appreciated, and trusted. Carefully understanding what the hero instinct is will help you differentiate it from any form of gender-based comparisons and unhealthy assumptions about the position of men in society.
The hero instinct is real in every man. Learning about it and how to trigger it in your man will make both of you happier and more fulfilled in the relationship.
Ways To Trigger Your Man’s Hero Instinct
Triggering a man’s hero instinct feels like a very small switch that turns on a mighty airplane. It can look so small and insignificant but the effects are usually very amazing. Here are ways you can turn on your man’s hero instinct and get his undivided love and attention.
1. Be submissive
Being submissive to a man is one great way to trigger his hero instinct. It makes him realize his responsibility to protect and care for you as a man.
Submissiveness requires you to exercise humility towards him, as well as having a calm and respectful disposition towards him in the way you speak to or relate with him.
Many people think submissiveness enslaves you to a man. But contrarily, it makes him love you even more. Being submissive triggers your man’s hero instinct in inexplicable ways that can make him love you relentlessly.
2. Be more interested in his wellbeing
Rather than trying to assert your own will and being concerned only with your own happiness, also show interest in his well-being and desires. This is what I could figure out from the experience with my friend I pointed out earlier.
For a moment, let it be more about him. Take some thought about what he truly wants and ask him what will make him happy. Even during heated arguments, doing this can instantly bring peace to your midst once again. It does this by triggering your man’s hero instincts.
3. Appreciate him
The hero instinct is what makes every man want to love, care for, and protect the woman he loves. It is nature’s creation, and every man wants to be with a woman who appreciates his efforts toward achieving that goal.
Find ways to appreciate him. It could be via offering him special gifts, words of affirmation, making a special meal, or simply writing him a love message. Adore and appreciate him as heroes are adored and appreciated, and you will see how much more he will be willing to do for you.
4. Accept gifts from him cheerfully
Triggering a man’s hero instinct also requires you to appreciate his gifts. Doing so makes him feel the need to do more and better.
No matter how you might perceive his gifts, show some cheerfulness and appreciation of his intention to put a smile on your face and find subtle ways to express yourself if you are not exactly satisfied with his gift. This way, he knows that you truly appreciate him as your number #1 superhero.
5. Make him feel honored in public
The moment you start dragging your ego with your man in public, he starts withdrawing from you gradually. This is one common mistake some women make that destroys their man’s hero instinct.
Once your man feels that you are too haughty in public, that will reduce how much interaction he has with you around his friends. But it doesn’t end there; he gradually begins to lose his interest in being your hero. And this can bring more problems to you both in the relationship.
6. Ask him for help when you should
Being stuck on something and not asking for help can send a signal to your man that you don’t need him in your life. He might not say anything or do anything about it, but that can gradually trample on his hero instinct over time.
When you trample on your man’s hero instinct by never asking him for help when you should, he stops bothering himself about rendering help even when you are in serious need of help. This is because you have never acted like you ever needed him.
7. Allow him to help you
Sometimes his methods of doing something may not align with yours but you should allow him to proceed in helping. This emphasizes his autonomy and independence as James Bauer discussed in his book. When you allow him to act autonomously, it triggers his hero instinct to find better ways to solve your problems and make you truly happy.
8. Support his goals
Every man wants to be with a woman who supports his goals as this is one of the most motivating things a man can get. He feels more like having the strength of a thousand men when you support a man’s visions and goals.
Supporting his goals involves showing and telling him that you are solidly behind him in all he does. For example, discussing his projects and plans with enthusiasm can give him more satisfaction and confidence to try out ways to succeed and make you happier as his dear woman.
9. Acknowledge his position as a hero
To understand this, you need to think outside for a moment. Think about how heroes are treated or should be treated. Acknowledging your man’s position as your hero is the most important thing that can make you consciously and subconsciously trigger his hero instincts.
Acknowledging him as your hero will make you ask for his help when you should, it will make you value his efforts, and it will make you respect and submit to him at all times. When you know how to trigger a man’s hero instinct, you will see how happy he will make you feel.
10. Compliment and encourage him
There are times when he might need extra motivation from someone–when some words of encouragement would go a long way. Learning to compliment and encourage him is one way you can trigger his hero instinct. He realizes that you still believe in him irrespective of what he might be going through.
Compliment him for the little things he has done, and encourage him whenever you can. This will fill him with new strength to succeed and bring more satisfaction to his life. When he realizes that you are an important source of strength and satisfaction, he can go any length to love you and make you happy.
The 12-Word Secret to Trigger A Man’s Hero Instinct
James Bauer summarized the concept of the hero instinct using twelve keywords. These words exemplify all of the above ways we discussed on how to trigger a man’s hero instinct.
These twelve words are “I love you. I need you. Thank you for being my hero“. “I love you” shows the affection and care you show him. “I need you” show your dependence on him as your hero. “Thank you for being my hero” shows how much you appreciate him for all he does to make you happy.
Specific Examples of How To Trigger Your Man’s Hero Instinct
In line with the above ways to trigger a man’s hero instincts, here are some specific examples. Some of these examples are also drawn from “His Secret Obsession” by James Bauer.
- Show submissiveness by obeying his instructions without putting up a dismissing attitude.
- When he is in obvious distress, ask him what the problem is and display a willingness to help make him feel better.
- When he is going through a stressful moment, let him know you are always by him.
- Respect his decisions and obey him as much as possible.
- Be on his side when he has a different opinion from someone else, especially in public.
- Encourage him with motivating words frequently.
- “Thank you for…” – When he gets you a gift, tell him how much you love and appreciate him.
- “I’m sorry, can you help me with…” – Ask him to help you lift the chair rather than do it yourself.
- “I have a serious question for you…” – Asking for his advice feeds his inner protector.
- “You always know just what to say…” – Complimenting his wisdom and guidance satisfies his hero instinct.
- “I really admire how you…” – Looking up to him for specific qualities or talents boosts his confidence.
- “I feel so comfortable sharing this with you…” – Opening up to him emotionally deepens bonding and trust.
7 Words To Trigger Your Man’s Hero Instinct
Here are some examples of words that you can use to trigger your man’s hero instinct and get his love and attention.
- Please, I need your help.
- I can’t do this without you.
- My hero!
- I believe in you.
- You are the strongest man I know.
- I am the luckiest woman in the world because I have you in my life.
- I love you more than words can say.
The benefit of Triggering Your Man’s Hero Instinct
I have mentioned some of the benefits of triggering a man’s hero instinct before but just to recap, here are more benefits of triggering a man’s hero instinct.
To the man;
- It makes him feel more powerful.
- It boosts his self-confidence.
- It gives him more satisfaction and happiness in the relationship.
- It spurs him to greatness.
- It makes him more productive in life.
To the woman;
- It makes you get more of your man’s attention.
- It gives you more satisfaction and happiness.
- He reciprocates to treat you like his queen.
- It makes him more willing to help you.
Signs You Are Trampling On Your Man’s Hero Instinct
Not satisfying your man’s hero instinct can bring certain issues into the relationship. These often begin with the following signs. When you start seeing these signs, look for ways to trigger his hero instincts and get back his attention, love, and care.
- When he starts to exert his power and position, it means his hero instinct is being undermined in one way or another.
- He might begin to avoid you or ignore conversations with you.
- He spends more time outside or away from you, lately.
- He gets freer interacting with other women even when he knows you are aware of this.
Conclusion
The hero instinct is every man’s inner desire to be respected and valued. This primal desire holds the key to making your man loyal to you as a woman.
Not activating this instinct in your man can make you miss out on the love and care that he has in stock for you, but these tips above will show you how to trigger your man’s hero instinct and get his full attention, love, and dedication.
