I have a 7-year-old niece who is always afraid to make attempts. When asked to read common three-letter words, her first response is always “I don’t know it”. She is always afraid to make mistakes as though that makes any difference.
I started encouraging her to say what she knew, and I complimented her for making attempts even if she was not exactly correct.
On the other hand, you see someone else who sets seemingly unrealistic goals they cannot keep up with, only for them to feel bad when they do not achieve them.
Productivity shame is a real thing. It is when someone feels bad or ashamed because they could not achieve that set target. This time, I am not referring to 7-year-olds. I am referring to everyone including adults like you and I.
The consequences of productivity are more serious to overlook what productivity shame is. So, I dedicated this post to explaining what productivity shame is, and if you are experiencing it, how you can overcome it.
What is productivity shame?
Productivity shame refers to the act of beating yourself up when you fail to meet unrealistic goals and plans set for yourself. It means setting goals that are obviously too big for you or the time frame and then blaming yourself for not meeting them.
When I was in secondary school, I and my friend were stimulated to build a space shuttle within the remaining two years we had in junior high school. We were in our second year but our interest in rockets was aroused after we kept on reading about space and rockets in our school library.
Long story short, we started drawing out the blueprint, we tried to analyse what materials would be needed, and we started looking for how to get them. My friend’s mother was a staff in the school, so we used her connection to get approval from the principal.
Within 2 months, we met our gridlock when we realized that even if we made the plans, how do we get the money to fund it? That was how our great project started to collapse because we didn’t have enough money to carry out our plans.
Well, that may be another project in the future but that was it.
Productivity shame has two major characteristics; setting too high goals, and feeling bad when one succeeds. There is nothing wrong with setting high goals as long as they are achievable, but beating yourself up when you don’t succeed is a major issue with productivity shame.
In our case, the plan was quite bigger than us at that time. This now raises the question of when we can say one’s plan is too big.
Honestly, no dream is too big to be achieved. You should stay determined to achieve the goals you are passionate about. But sometimes, one’s plans would obviously not be feasible. In this post, we will see what makes a plan unrealistic and how to fix that.
The more pressing problem with productivity shame is allowing yourself to go through pain, regret, and hurt for not achieving your goals instead of being grateful for the steps you got right.
What causes productivity shame (mindsets)?
You will know that you have productivity shame if you have the following. These things are common causes of productivity shame in people who have it.
First, productivity shame results from our mindset and perception about work and productivity. These mindsets are common to people who experience productivity shame often.
1. More work equals more worth
I have seen a 65-year-old woman who believes she must keep working to keep her personal worth as a person. She takes up tasks without taking adequate rest in between. In the end, she breaks down with one headache or another.
At the beginning of the day, she lines up a list of different tasks she must complete by the end of the day. And when she breaks down unable to complete them, you find her worrying about not being capable any longer.
This woman is quite close to me, and the one thing I tell her is you need rest too. You don’t need to work till death to validate yourself.
2. Failure is abnormal
In all my experiences in life, one of the most unexpected things I have come to see is that failure is a very normal part of life. No success comes without failure.
There is hardly any venture I have taken up that has not experienced some failure at some point, including this blog whose post you are currently enjoying.
People who think that failure is abnormal are the ones who beat themselves up the most when they cannot meet up with their plans. It is okay to encounter failure along the way to success. You don’t need to beat yourself up at the slightest setback.
3. You can do anything someone else does
You can do anything you put your mind to but that does not mean you must do what others are doing. Many people create a pseudo-competition when they try to do what other people are succeeding at, instead of digging out their own passions.
It is important to know your own abilities and passions and to set goals that match them. Imitating someone else to do what they have done can lead you to either undermine (if it is less than your true capabilities) or overwhelm your own capabilities (if it is bigger than what you can possibly carry).
4. Beating yourself motivates you to get better
I have also met a friend who complains a lot. On interrogating him, I found out that he believes that complaining about his inability to achieve certain tasks can motivate him to get better. How erroneous he was!
Shaming yourself does not make you get better. It does not motivate you as you might be thinking. What it does is pile up for yourself a load of shame to the point you begin to feel worthless about yourself.
Instead of beating yourself, appreciate yourself for the little milestones you attained in your own productivity.
5. The bigger, the merrier
The bigger, the merrier. That might be true in many situations but not all.
Some people focus so much on size and ignore quality. They believe they have to do everything all at once, even if the quality is compromised. Instead, what should be done is, breaking up your plans and projects into bits so that you can give maximum quality to each step to its completion.
How to stop feeling productivity shame
To stop productivity shame, one needs to modify or change some of the mindsets that induce one to feel shame when one is not as productive as one imagined. The following tips can help one overcome productivity shame no matter how hard they are struggling with it.
1. Change your mindset about productivity
The mindsets discussed above can set you up for productivity shame. For example, more work does not equal more personal worth. You don’t have to overwork yourself to feel useful to yourself.
Also, you need to understand that beating yourself does not motivate you to do better. It might only make you less motivated in the long run.
2. Make proper plans
To be effective and to stop productivity shame, one has to make proper plans before one begins the task. You need to ensure to allocate the right amount of jobs for the appropriate time target. This aligns with the principle of setting SMART “Realistic” goals.
Also, acknowledge that quality is more important than quantity. Instead of loading too much work for a short time, plan with quality in mind.
Still based on planning, enhance your productivity by grouping tasks of similar quality together. This ensures that your focused mental activity on tasks of similar quality yields the most productive outcome possible.
3. Conduct feasibility studies
You need to properly take time to know what is enough, what is feasible, and what is not. There is nothing wrong with having big targets but if you experience productivity shame, you might want to re-evaluate the feasibility of your projects and targets even before you begin.
4. Take advantage of the progress principle
Another reason why you are feeling like you are not doing enough is that you do not keep track of your progress on a daily basis. Little progress matters. No matter how small, it can be very motivating to see that you have accomplished some feats even though small.
For example, if you are supposed to complete the task of writing a blog post like this, you can break down the tasks into sections like, “choosing a title”, “doing research”, and “writing”. Acknowledge yourself and your efforts every time you achieve a milestone no matter how small it may seem.
5. Learn to disconnect at the end of the day
You don’t owe yourself an entire 24 hours for work. You deserve some rest and rewards at the end of every day.
Maybe your inability to disconnect from work at the end of the day can make you feel like you have some work left to do.
When talking about learning to disconnect yourself from your work, Todoist highlighted four important elements to include in the typical end-of-day routine:
- Detachment: Physically separating yourself from your work tools and environment.
- Relaxation: Spending time alone with your thoughts to process the day.
- Mastery: Working on a hobby or interest that engages you.
- Control: Create a “shutdown ritual” that you follow each evening.
By focusing on these actions by the end of the day, you can give your mind and body a chance to rest instead of thinking that there is always something left you have not done.
6. Use tools that can aid your productivity plan
Todoist also mentioned that “productivity shame happens when you set an incredibly difficult goal for yourself without setting up any systems of support (and then blame your failure on a lack of personal willpower and motivation)”.
Many of us set incredibly high goals and rely on our initial motivation and drive to carry us through. However, that is rarely the case because motivation has a funny way of disappearing when we need it the most.
Instead of relying on your motivation only, you can also rely on specially designed tools that can boost your motivation and improve your productivity without creating room for productivity shame.
An example of such tools is the RescueTime which makes you hyper-aware of how you are spending your time so that you can take back control of it and spend it on the right tasks. It is software that monitors the sites and apps you use in the background and assigns them a productivity level (which you can customise).
RescueTime helps you focus on the important tasks that make you effective instead of being busy without getting any work done. Again, quality matters more than quantity.
Another helpful tool to overcome productivity shame and get more productive is the to-do list created by Todoist. This app helps you track your steps for a big project or task by breaking and organizing it into smaller sub-tasks towards achieving more progress and overall productivity.
For example, Todoist can help you organize your task list for a creative project like writing a novel. You can easily add individual tasks to the Todoist list, assign deadlines or recurring due dates, as well well as set a priority level so you can know what needs to be worked on first and what’s next.
Final words
Productivity shame is real to so many people, sometimes without them realizing it. While it is okay to feel bad when you don’t meet up with your own targets, it does not warrant feeling productivity shame, which is an act of beating up yourself more than is necessary.
More importantly, one should find ways to improve productivity. Next, one should focus on setting realistic goals. And finally, one should learn to reward oneself for the smallest achievements.
Motivation is not all about crying for the slightest failures, it is about celebrating the small wins to encourage yourself for the bigger ones.
Follow the tips above to stop feeling productivity shame when embarking on your routine and special tasks. Let me know if you have any comments or questions in the comment section below.
