On August 5th, 2024, the content creator, Jools Lebron posted a video of herself on TikTok about being demure and mindful which she captioned “How to be demure and modest and respectful at the workplace”. In this video, she talked about how she looked very presentable, demure, and mindful, saying, “You see how I do my makeup for work? Very demure, very mindful. I don’t come to work with a green cut-crease…”
She talked about being mindful and modest and not doing too much but being beautiful and presentable at all times in the workplace. This pretty much explains the actual meanings of the words “demure” and “mindful” but it soon blew out of context over the internet.
Some users have used the phrase ‘Very mindful, very demure’ to express being beautiful and minimalistic. Others use it sarcastically to refer to other non-related, non-mindful things like blocking an ex, eating doughnuts buying groceries, etc. Within one week, Jools’s video has had over 7 million plays and 800,000 likes, with a catastrophic number of trending videos using her ‘very demure, very mindful’ voiceover.
Here is the original video of Jools Lebron talking about being demure and mindful.
@joolieannie
Even though people do not commonly use ‘very mindful, very demure’ regularly, this trend made many people even more confused about the meaning of the words. While it has become a buzzword across the entire internet, many found themselves rushing to search for the exact meaning of the words and why she went viral.
Meaning of ‘Very Demure, Very Mindful’
According to the Oxford Dictionary, demure(adj.) means to be “reserved, modest, and shy (typically used of a woman)”. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defined it as being “affectedly modest, reserved, or serious”. While the Oxford Dictionary defines mindfulness as a state of being “conscious or aware of something”.
Being demure reflects a state of being reserved, modest, and not too “loud” as a woman. Society believes that being reserved as a woman gives her more prestige, value, and respect from other people and members of the opposite sex. By being not too loud, this could be in her dress sense, behaviors how she relates with other people, and how she talks.
In the same vein, being mindful refers to being conscious of one’s actions and behavior without getting uncontrollably or careless in a way that makes other people spot an anomaly.
These two words could be used to mean different things in different contexts. For example, as I have mentioned about being demure and mindful of one’s behavior, especially in the public space. However, in the context where Jools Lebron used it, it referred to being modest in one’s dressing and looks in the workplace, and also being mindful of it, while stylishly adding that you can still look beautiful in modesty.
By being modest and mindful, she also subtly emphasized that if modesty and mindfulness are your lifestyle, you don’t have to pretend to be so during the interview and act differently after getting the job.
While her context was about dressing and appearance in the workplace, of course, it sparked a trend that transcended beyond that. Some users in their posts even gave it new meanings like “being beautiful and modest”, amongst others.
What Sparked the Viral Trend?
It is hard to identify exactly why certain things go viral on the internet or how a trend starts, and the “Very demure, very mindful” trend is not an exception. It is practically impossible to track when and what triggered the trend.
However, content is more likely to trend if it is considered relatable by a larger audience. When it resonates well with users, they are more likely to share it because it helps them say what they’ve always wanted to say.
Also, content that evokes strong emotions like surprise, amusement/humor, inspiration, empathy, kindness, outrage, etc, tends to get massive shares and go viral on social media and the internet. This is because emotions connect everybody. It also shows originality in the content.
Social media algorithms may also determine the likelihood of a content to go viral. The content could be featured prominently on users’ timelines, especially within the first few hours of being posted. This is why posts with a good level of creativity and originality soon gain significant traction, especially when posted at the right time.
But not all relatable and creative content goes viral. In fact, Jools expressed her surprise when she posted another TikTok post about how she had simply made a silly video and it totally changed her life. You never know what will go viral until it has gone viral. She probably just wanted to make yet another video for her fans and followers about this new idea she had, and boom! the entire internet got involved.
But like most trends, an overuse within a short time often leads to a rapid decline in popularity as audiences move to new trends. This was also the same thing for the “Very demure, very mindful” trend. The surge has significantly reduced compared to how it was when it started.
How Far Did the Trend Go?
The TikTok trend which started with Jools Lebron’s satirical use of “Very demure, very mindful” soon saturated TikTok and other social media, where users used the “very demure”, “very mindful”, and other similar words like “cutesy”, “classy”, “respectable”, and “considerate” to create similar satires in other non-related activities like drinking juice or boarding a plane.
See an example below:
@jlo Very demure … very mindful 🩵
Irrespective of the dictionary meaning of demure and mindful, you can literally take anything happening in your life and claim it is demure. However you do it, it will absolutely match the trend, making it easy for everyone to join the trend. For example, I can say, “You see how I am writing this post now? Do you see how I am keeping it concise and interesting? I am not like other people who write too long. Very mindful, very demure, very considerate, very respectful, very demure.”
Even celebrities have joined the trend. For example, the cast of Emily in Paris in a TikTok Video posted by BuzzFeed used the phrase “Very demure, very mindful” in a red carpet display.
Video below:
@buzzfeed You see how the cast of Emily In Paris showed up to the carpet? Very DEMURE and very MINDFUL! 😍✨ #EmilyInParis #Demure
Beyond TikTok, the “very mindful, very demure” trend has flooded other social media including Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp, and others. Joshjohnsoncomedy has praised this trend as a spectacular one that has brought something positive to the internet while also eliciting humor, unlike most other TikTok trends or challenges he’s seen. And when I think about it, he may be right.
While the demure, mindful craze lasts, I guess it is important to emphasize the importance of being modest and thoughtful, where appropriate, in any aspect of our daily lives.
What’s Next?
As the “demure and mindful” trend naturally fades away, a new one comes to take its place. But we can’t be sure what the next trending word would be.
Nöel Wolf, a cultural and linguistic expert at Babbel, told BBC that the word demure dates back to the 1600s, and was used a lot in the 1800s to describe young women who were “modest and reserved”. She also stated that the re-contextualization of the word shows how old language can take on a new life in the hands of the younger generations.
Wolf also mentioned that “There’s a tendency for online trends to yo-yo: we moved from the clean girl aesthetic to brat summer as a rejection of that, and now to ‘demure’, so, there’s a good chance that whatever the next trend is, it’ll be far from demure”. This means that there seems to be a noticeable pattern in such trends that have societal/cultural impacts these days. The “Clean Girl” aesthetic emphasized a minimalistic, polished, and put-together image; the next ‘Brat Summer’ trend gave a rebellious, messy, and carefree vibe; while this one after it ‘very demure, very mindful’ switches right back to a more minimalistic mode.
Trends related to online aesthetics often oscillate between contrasting themes as people react to them. We see a minimalistic ‘very demure, very mindful’ theme today, and there is a good chance that whatever the next trend is, it will be far opposite from demure or mindful.
