Premature ejaculation has become a major sexual problem among men worldwide. Statistics have shown that premature ejaculation affects 20-30% of men who are sexually active. This undermines many more numbers of men who are also suffering from premature ejaculation and having problems lasting long in bed with their partner but are too ashamed to disclose this information.
Lasting long in bed is important to derive the full pleasure and excitement from sexual intercourse. You want to feel the excitement and you also want your partner to get the full pleasure as well. This sometimes makes some men feel anxious about sex as they are afraid they might not be able to satisfy their partner. It thus becomes extremely important to learn more ways to delay ejaculation and last longer in bed.
There are a lot of drinks, prescriptions, and methods that have been proposed to delay ejaculation, prolong erection, and last longer in bed. However, here you will see some fact-based ways to delay ejaculation and last longer in bed with your partner.
Proven Ways To Delay Ejaculation and Last Longer in Bed With Your Partner
1. Do regular physical exercises
One of the best and easiest ways to last longer in bed without using medications is through routine physical exercises. In the Trends in Urology & Men’s Health Journal, it was found that running for 30 minutes a day and five times a week can help extend ejaculation latency time (delays the time of ejaculation) as much as taking dapoxetine, a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) drug approved for use in the treatment of premature ejaculation in some countries outside the United States.[1]Non‐pharmacological approaches for treatment of premature ejaculation: a systematic review – TUMHJ
Exercises like running, swimming, and other aerobic exercises help to improve your cardiovascular health as well as other bodily functions including sexual performance.
Endurance is a key component of many of these physical exercises. Like these exercises, sexual activity is an energy-requiring process, one that would need a level of endurance from the partners. Breathing exercises help to build one’s endurance and to be able to withstand high physical stress. These exercises may directly improve sexual stamina and help a man last longer in bed.
2. Foreplay
Foreplay is by far one of the most underestimated ways to delay ejaculation and last longer in bed. Sex is not only about coital penetration. Other things like kissing, cuddling, and body stimulation not only lead to a great genital penetration experience but can also help a man last longer in bed.
Women are often the most determinant of how pleasurable a sexual activity was. If your woman is not satisfied, the overall sexual performance would be rated as poor despite how satisfied the man is. Foreplay is a way to enhance a woman’s sexual satisfaction.
A study has shown that foreplay in married couples for 1-10 minutes led to enhanced orgasm among 40% of the women. Foreplay for 12-20 minutes enhanced orgasm in 50% of wives having an orgasm, and foreplay of 20 minutes or greater equalled 60% of wives having an orgasm.[2]Foreplay – an overview | ScienceDirect
Foreplay might delay ejaculation in men through some unknown mechanisms. But what is exactly known about foreplay is that it can also improve proper erection and harness before coital penetration.
3. Edging
Edging refers to those methods that help a man recover from stimulation at the ‘edge’ of climax to prevent ejaculation. Some men get to climax quickly at which point they ejaculate prematurely. After the climax, the sex drive drops for some time until it returns but if your woman has not achieved enough orgasm at that time, it can be quite upsetting.
Edging aims to halt sexual stimulation near orgasm or the point of ejaculation until the desire to ejaculate subsides. Thus, allows the man to resume another round of sex without offing out. This psycho-behavioural method of delaying ejaculation and prolonging sex has been shown to be effective in the short-term management of premature ejaculation in 65% of cases.[3]Premature Ejaculation: Aetiology and Treatment Strategies – PMC
The standard method of edging developed by Semans is the start-stop method which is described above. Another method to achieve edging is the ‘squeeze’ or ‘start-squeeze’ method, which involves removing the penis from the vagina and squeezing the glans of the penis. Masturbation before anticipated intercourse is another common technique used by younger males to delay ejaculation and last longer during intercourse.
4. Alcohol reduction
Aside from the use of medications, lifestyle modifications like exercises and cutting down alcohol intake can help boost libido, enhance penile erection, and delay ejaculation. Alcohol interferes with the signals between the brain and the genitals. After heavy drinking, you may find it hard to ejaculate or ejaculate too fast.
Alcohol also affects your cardiovascular health, and once your heart is affected, every other organ including genital organs and their functions can be affected. So, if you feel like you have been ejaculating too early lately, you might need to put your drinking activity in check.
5. Relaxation exercises
The desire to satisfy your woman can create some anxiety in you as a man. Sometimes you are unsure how your performance would go but you don’t want another round of ‘disgrace and shame’.
In actual fact, however, your anxiety is causing more harm than good. You need to be relaxed and peaceful when having intercourse with your partner. Performance anxiety can make you have a lower libido, poor erection, and/or ejaculate too fast. Hence, relaxation exercises like yoga, meditation, and listening to calming romantic music, can help you perform better in bed.
6. Distraction
Distraction is another behavioural way to delay ejaculation and prolong sex with your partner. Some men have found it useful to think about something else during sex to distract themselves and delay ejaculation. But others have reported that this makes their erection get weaker or go away completely.
Others think that it is dishonest to their partner to think about something else during sex, however, the rationale behind this is that distraction helps to delay the time it takes you to achieve climax orgasm.
A better way to distract yourself without feeling like it is dishonest to your partner is by focusing on pleasing your partner. Many times, you just want to be satisfied, hence you get too easily stimulated and orgasm too quickly. But when you focus on giving all the pleasure to your partner, it can help you delay ejaculation and last longer in bed with your partner.
7. Kegel exercises for men
Kegel exercises are physiotherapy exercises aimed at strengthening the pelvic floor muscles. They are conventionally recommended for women who are pregnant to help them during labour and delivery, but as you would see, they are also useful for men in controlling ejaculation and prolonging sex.
The pelvic floor muscles serve as a partial sphincter for the ejaculatory duct, such that if it is too weak, it might affect the voluntary control of ejaculation. Ejaculation is mostly mediated by involuntary stimuli from the brain at the height of orgasm but shortly before them, pelvic control can help delay it significantly.
A simple kegel exercise can be as follows:
Start by lying on your back, hands flat on the floor, and knees comfortably bent and pointing upwards. Try to draw your penis inwards towards your body and hold for five seconds, then release. Now squeeze your anus muscles as if you are trying to stop a bowel movement and hold for five seconds, then release. Repeat steps two and three, eight to 10 times, and do three to five sets.
8. Use a condom (thickened)
A condom can help prevent premature ejaculation by working in basically the same mechanism as ‘distraction’–reducing the intensity of stimulation, delaying the time to climax and ultimately delaying ejaculation. Some men have found it effective, while others have reported having less satisfaction with this method.
According to a study, a thickened condom can effectively prolong and enhance penile erection, and overcome premature ejaculation, and has been used in the treatment of the condition in some men.[4]Efficacy evaluation of thickened condoms in the treatment of premature ejaculation – PMC Thus, it will be worth trying a condom if you are having problems with premature ejaculation with your partner.
9. Try sexual boosters
Several sexual boosters and mixtures that help men last longer in bed have been produced today. Some of them are based on natural extracts while others are from synthetic chemical compounds found to be useful in treating premature ejaculation. It will be worth trying out some of these sexual boosters to see if they might work for you.
There are several brands worldwide. And while I do not intend to promote any of them, you can try out the Promescent Spray which has been described to delay ejaculation in men who are having problems with premature ejaculation. Another effective medication is the use of benzocaine wipes over the penis before intercourse.
10. Sexual positions
Some sexual positions have been found to delay ejaculation in men. Some of these positions include the cowgirl and the sit-on-the-throne positions. In the cowgirl position, the man lies relaxed on his back while focusing on enjoying the stimulation from the woman over him. This way, he is able to breathe more effectively and conserve enough energy to go for longer periods.
The sit-on-the-throne position also allows the man to be relaxed but in this case, the man is sitting on a chair while the woman sits over his genitals.
11. See the doctor
After all has been said and done, it is important to see the doctor if the problem persists. Premature ejaculation and short duration of sexual activity can be due to other underlying medical conditions. A doctor would evaluate your symptoms, thoroughly examine you, and carry out some investigations to see if there is any underlying cause of the problem. And once that is identified, appropriate treatments would be prescribed to help you through this condition.
How Long Should Normal Sex Last?
On the matter of lasting long in bed, one question that often arises is “How long should normal sex last?” As mentioned earlier, the adequacy of sex is often determined by how satisfied the woman was after the sexual activity. Also, normal sex duration differs for different people based on their expectations and mood.
According to a journal published in 2020, the time to orgasm in women in a monogamous heterosexual relationship was 13.4 minutes[5]Time to Orgasm in Women in a Monogamous Stable Heterosexual Relationship – ScienceDirect, while a similar study in 2005 found that the average time to orgasm/ejaculate in men was only 5.4 minutes[6]A multinational population survey of intravaginal ejaculation latency time – PubMed.
We can infer that normal sex duration is based on the individuals involved and that normal sex duration may be somewhere between 5.4 and 13.4 minutes for a single round of sex. However, in reality, sex does not end with only one round of sex. By effectively delaying ejaculation through some of the interventions discussed above, you can have longer and more satisfying sex.
Conclusion
Premature ejaculation is a fairly common condition among men worldwide, resulting in an abnormally short duration of sexual intercourse. Lifestyle and behavioural modifications have shown effectiveness in delaying ejaculation and prolonging stay in bed. This article discussed some behavioural and lifestyle tips on how to delay ejaculation and last longer in bed.
Ultimately, it is important to see the doctor if the condition persists after carrying out these behavioural modifications. This is to ensure that any underlying causes of the condition are attended to promptly and based on expert knowledge.
